The hairline fractures webbing their way across the surface of Ryuko’s psyche began to repair themselves almost as quickly as they’d appeared, life fibers stitching the miniscule gaps in her mental integrity shut. Her expression was markedly calm as the recovery took place, her legs regaining their stability as she pulled her blade out of the ground, turning to face em.
She wasn’t sure if seeing Aikuro struggling at her side was heartening or obnoxious, though her memories prompted some foreign twist of sympathy to roil in her gut, dull and muted. Had e gathered her in his arms during the throes of her struggle, she was disgusted to admit that she would have probably allowed em to do so, sinking into eir embrace in the hopes that e could keep her together. She could feel Junketsu laughing at her for her silent admission, and her fingers curled into an angry fist in response.
“Who’s upset?” she managed to drawl, her voice even in spite of the breathless quality of her tone. She knew e felt it, that e struggled as she did, and it made her opinion of em plummet even further than before. E was weak, they both were, and that weakness meant death. Striding over to em, she reached a hand out, fingers grabbing for eir collar, the blank gaze that met hers causing an instinctive rage to bubble up within her.
How could e be so calm, so tempered, wearing eir weakness like a badge of honor?
“Gotta commend y’for standin’ yer ground,” she growled, pulling herself closer to her former teacher. Anger smoldered in her eyes, embers buried under ash, color rising to her face. “Guess I understand why mother chose you.” Her breaths came sharply, uneven as she looked into eir eyes, struggling to find that weakness e had displayed not so long ago, almost desperate to locate it so she could reprimand em for it. Junketsu jeered at her, admonishing her for her weakness.
{ ✗ } ··· Lady Ryuko’s was like a whiplash– not moments ago, she had been struggling with her own humanity, and now the tears she had shed were burning her skin and evaporating rapidly under the swift change in personality, as she pulled em down by the collar and off of eir balance, and Aikuro stumbled a little trying to regain eir footing, drawn in close to Ryuko’s furious face. E couldn’t understand her anger, nor sympathize with it– she was being irrational. The cold, unfeeling expression on eir face didn’t budge, staring down at her while she spoke words that meant nothing to em.
But all it took to make em crack, entirely, was the look in her eyes. E met her gaze, and for just a moment, eir humanity budged again, leaping into eir throat and making em furrow eir eyebrows and stare down at her with the same intensity she gave em, mouth still parted, as– once again– the Life Fibers weakened, and the constant headache disappeared for a few moments, a minute of clarity.
And her words, they made more sense– Junketsu was restless, glaring harshly up at her face, squeezing and clearly feeling something negative towards her. E could not hear it, but e knew it could hear her, and something was happening inside that e wasn’t privy to, that was causing her outrage.
“Ryuko-kun…” e said breathlessly, both from the sudden flux of her anger, as well as the strange feelings flowing through em, towards eir situation, towards everything that was happening.
And then e did something completely unexpected: e smiled.
“You think I’m weak, right?”
Eir breaths were shallow, just struggling to say the words, but it was such an uncanny amusement e felt towards eir dilemma. “Is it really weak to– survive? Life Fibers… they’re the difference between monsters and men, Ryuko-kun. And we’re both monsters. Am I weak for not wanting to face what I’ve done? We’ve– destroyed, killed… everything, anything that stands in our way, all in the name of… power. Power, and– and your mother, and all of her ideals. I know you feel the same, that it’s– wrong.” E gasped for air for a moment, the strain of talking clear on eir face. “But there’s nothing I can do, is there…? Neither of us can. I’m going to be restitched just for saying these words, or even killed. In this world, humanity is weak. Abandoning it is the only choice either of us have left. We’d be deplorable humans if we ever tried to go back to the way things were.”
By the time e was done speaking, eir eyes were bloodshot, skin pale and breathing hard, the effort to hold on growing to be too much to bear. “I– I’m sorry, Ryuko-kun,” e laughed, so bitter and human and real. “I guess, even when I’m brainwashed to do my job, to keep you safe, I– I s-still can’t do it right.”
And like that, it was too much. The pain in eir head was too much, and a sharp, thundering shock of Life Fiber-induced obedience in eir head caused em to seize up and sway forwards, losing balance altogether, crashing against her weight. Eir consciousness was dwindling as e tried to stay upright– and e failed, miserably, while e let out a loud, hoarse, unrestrained noise of agony, one hand clasped to eir forehead as eir very conscious ripped itself in half, the two sides slamming together and shaking the very foundations of eir sanity.
